Having a Path

Life takes us places we don't expect. For instance, my mother had an adult foster care home and while I enjoyed visiting with the people she cared for, I never really thought about doing a similar job. Yet, here I am, doing in home (theirs, not mine) care giving. At the moment, my only client lives an hour away and I work a 48 hr shift. I mention this because 48 hrs out in the middle of virtually nowhere, gives one ample time to do many things, thinking included. I have been thinking a lot lately. My husband has been a philosophical Buddhist for many years. I have waffled back and forth with the idea. While I appreciated the basics that I knew of it, I never really committed to the practice of learning all that can be learned. I suppose it was because of laziness, more than anything or maybe it just wasn't the right time. I am ready now. I need to do this, for many reasons. I need to do it for me, my family, and (as corny as it may sound) for the world. All of those things are interconnected and I fail to see how becoming a better person for everyone can be a bad thing. I am just one fiber in the fabric of life. I know that I will not be able to fix all the tears, holes, and frayed seams. I hope that strengthening my little thread will help others strengthen theirs and it will spread like a ripple started by a pebble.

I used to be a very selfish person. I still have selfish tendencies, but nothing like they used to be. When I was young I would see documentaries on famous people who had died and they would interview all their friends, family, and colleagues. Those people would say beautiful things about the individual who had passed. I wanted that. I wanted to be famous so that when I died, they would make a documentary about me and say beautiful things about me. The problem with that dream was that it was a selfish dream. It was all about me me me. I, no longer need or want to be famous. I DO want to be great. Even if I am not recognized for whatever deeds I do, that make me great. Although, I will admit there are times I struggle with this at work.

I was raised Catholic. Buddhism, in the eyes of those who understand it, is not a religion, per se. Buddha was just a man, like Jesus, who had a higher understanding of things. Just like Jesus, in Christianity, people choose to follow Buddha's teachings. There are definitely differences between Buddhism and Christianity, but they are more alike than a lot of people realize. I have found less inconsistencies in Buddhist writings, than in Christian ones, which is something that has always kind of turned me off of following a Christian belief system. One of the bigger differences of the 2 belief systems, is what life leads to. In Christianity, when one dies, they either go to Heaven or Hell. In Buddhism the goal is Enlightenment, which looked at abstractly could be considered Heaven. However, the path to Enlightenment is not a one life time thing. One is reborn as many times as needed, to continue learning, until they reach enlightenment. On one hand, this seems a mighty long, tedious and nearly impossible task. On the other hand, it seems so very simple and oddly obtainable. I'm, sure I am but a fledgling soul, with lifetime's to go, before I reach enlightenment.

It is ironic, in my opinion, that the person that I think of when I think 'enlightened', wasn't even Buddhist; she was Catholic. Mother Theresa. There is a reason the Catholic Church nominated her to be recognized a Saint. It is a shame that more people, of any religion, or belief system, are not more like her. Like the Dali Lama, she was truely great.

So, my choice to delve into Buddhism to learn, grow, and in an effort to be great, is born. 

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