Like Mother, Like Daughter.

So, I was thinking about some friends I had growing up and it occurred to me that more than one of them followed in their mothers shoes.. This has not always been a positive thing. I, myself, have tried to go against my mother's bad habits and break whatever cycles I didn't like. I wonder how well of a job I have done. It is something I am frequently mindful of. When I start to do something that she did, that once annoyed me, I correct myself. Luckily I have avoided her addiction to Bingo. With all of that said, my mom was not an awful person, she had very good traits as well... She was certainly tenacious, which directed correctly, can be a great trait. As far as my friends go, I wonder if they see themselves following in their mother's footsteps? I wonder if they see me doing so, in ways that I don't see.. 

The Toy Society

I am sooooo excited to do this.. I am actually giddy.. I found this blog the other day called The Toy Society. It is people all over the world, making toys of every kind, then putting them in a baggy with a note (the tags, letters and stuff they send to you when you sign up) and then "drop" it off, somewhere random for someone to find... It is anonymous toy bombing... How cool is that?? Soooo, guess what I plan on doing very very soon?? I keep on thinking of places to drop, toys to make, etc... OH, and a cool part is, that whoever finds the toy can email the blog site or whatever to alert them it has been found.. The site is here:

www.thetoysociety.blogspot.com/

If you can make a toy, DO THIS!!!! 

Wishes

Wishing. 

People wish for things ALL the time.

 I used to too. Now days, I try hard not to wish for anything, unless I really really want or need it..  I used to think I wanted and needed a lot! I have come to realize a few things about wishing.

 
1.  Most of the things people wish for, neither need, nor ended up really wanting or appreciating.
2. Some wishes that come true, have unforeseen consequences. For instance, the wish I struggle most with, not to make is "I wish I were rich!".. I think a lot of people wish that, in fact it might just be the #1 wish in the world, whatever the currency is.. But, you look at a lot of people who win the lottery and their lives usually are worse for it.. Yes, they may have fancy cars, and never struggle to pay a bill again but, they lose something too. From that point on, they never know if people are their friends for genuine reasons or just because they want some of the loot. Shoot, they never know whether long time friends are still actually friends or not.. Money tends to bring out the worst in others. AND they end up with people they haven't seen or heard from, in YEARS, coming out of the woodwork...  
3. People seem to bargain with God for their wishes.. And if their wish comes true, then seem to forget their end of the bargain. For instance (and this sort of ties into #1) someone is struggling hard and prays and bargains that if they are granted a winning lottery ticket and become rich, that they will never forget what it is like to be where they are now and promise to do good and help others, with some of that money! They happen to win the lottery and once out of that low position, don't do anything for others in that position.. Instead they  find themselves without any real friends, buy a fancy car and scoff at the person begging on the street corner they once occupied.. 
4. Wishing allows people to be unhappy if it gets out of control! Wishing is very often a result of a persons unhappiness. I think that the more a person wishes, the less happy they are.. Duh, right.. but what I mean is this.. I think wishing can kind of become a cycical thing.. A person is unhappy about something and wishes for whatever they think will make them happy.. If the wish comes true but has unexpected consequences (possibly including it just not making them happier), then the person is all the more unhappy so wishes for something else to make them happy.. If the person's wish doesn't come true than they are unhappy because they feel unlucky or whatever..

I used to wish that I would someday be able to travel. I wanted to go to Italy, mostly, but India and a few others were on the list too.. It is a dream I have given up. See, to me, my husband is FAR more important than traveling. I wouldn't want to travel with anyone but him, or maybe the kids, but a trip to Italy with your husband is a much different trip than one with your kids.. Both memorable but different. My husband, love him to pieces, but he is a BAD traveler! I know that traveling with him would most likely lead to my throttling him... Ergo, it is more important to have him and NOT travel than to push him into something that will lead to his being throttled!

In any case people wish for so much, all the time.. I am always afraid that we all have a certain allowance, in our lives, for wishes.. I don't want to waste my allowance on stupid crap like ice cream or something... Don't get me wrong, I like ice cream as much as the next person, but is it really worth wishing for?

Oddly attractive

I think there is something very oddly attractive about a person who can be openly silly, even outrageously so.. Some examples of this are Amanda Bynes, Shane Dawson, Christine Gambito (aka HappySlip), and Brittani Louise Taylor... All of these people have had shows or vlogs or skit based things.. All of them are attractive for some reason. I don't know how to explain it, it isn't like a sexual attraction.. I think it is more of a envy type thing.. For most of my life, I was very very self conscience. I was always afraid of being embarrassed over stuff. I was also very afraid I would offend someone else.. I still struggle with these issues from time to time but not as much. These people, though, can just do whatever AND post it on-line. To me, it almost looks like a freedom that I have never possessed. On the other hand, I know that there are a lot of freaky people out there and being a "celebrity", of sorts, could be quite scary at times.. 

At this point in my life, any kind of skit or vlog type thing I did, would probably not be all that entertaining.. I am just too old! So blogging it is... I hope that it is entertaining, meaningful (or whatever) to someone out there.. 

For you viewing pleasure, here is a sample of work from Brittani Louise Taylor... She has other stuff too, be sure to check it out!

Sur-realistic Life Lessons.

I am always amazed at what lessons life gives us. Sometimes they are so subtle that they don't seem like lessons and sometimes they are just little reminders of things we already know..

My uncle recently passed away. He had planned on coming up on July 2nd and called to say that he had fallen and wouldn't be making it. I had train tickets to go down to help him on Aug. 17. On July 27th, I received a call from my aunt telling me that my uncle was in the hospital and wasn't expected to make it much longer. This was sort of a shock since he had just been planning on coming up a couple of weeks prior. I changed the tickets out to go down that day. He passed away 2 days later. While I was there at the hospital, waiting for the elevator to take me to the cafeteria, I looked down the hall and noticed a man walking down the hall with a baby car seat. He was followed by someone carrying a handful of balloons for a new baby... In that moment, things were so surreal. How strange it is that a single place can hold new life and imminent death within its walls at the same time.. One place can hold immense happiness, and grief within its walls at the same time... How the circle of life can begin and end within the same walls. It is hard to explain how odd a sensation, that was. Yes, I knew these things on a surface level.. but it was almost like time kind of slowed for a moment while I watched that man taking the car seat to where there was certainly a new life, while my uncle was laying in a bed that he was not going to be leaving, alive. I am not angry or jealous or anything.. I just find it very surreal. In the line of work I am in, I know that not everyone dies in the hospital... Likewise, not everyone is born in a hospital.. However, a hospital holds both ends of the life cycle within its walls, and much more, as well..

Hooked on this song!!!

He says to blog about him, so I am.... This is just one of many many, many funny songs that he has....

ENJOY!!!

What to do?

Trying to decide what to do. I think I want to go back to school, but don't know what for. I suppose I should talk to someone at the college and see what my options are. I think I would enjoy Occupational Therapy, but the local college only has a Physical Therapy program.. I gotta do something though... Get a new job or go to school to get a new job, doesn't really matter as long as I change direction from where I am... I love working with elderly people. I hate stupid politics that come from the office.. I don't understand why they continue to hire people when there are many people who work for them, already, that aren't getting as many hrs as they would like.. Including me! I hate feeling like crap every time I read the stupid news letter. It makes me feel even worse that I am not as happy for the people who get recognized, as I should be... I want to go to work and enjoy it, not feel used, abused, and a lot of times guilty... Guilty? yes... Although, my work charges about the same as a lot of other companies that provide the same service, it is still for an elite population... I suppose this is sort of out of my control because, like I said, my work doesn't really charge more than other companies, but still... There is no reason for me to feel used and abused though... I dunno where I wanna go from here. I really don't.. I just know that I don't want to be here, in this position, any more... When I first started working there 5 years ago, my husband had a good paying job and I didn't NEED to be working but for now, *I* am the main bread winner. Otherwise, they would have had my 2 weeks notice a while ago... I don't get paid nearly enough, don't have any benefits AT ALL, no paid time off, or overtime... Yet, year after year, I have put up with what they dish out...

When I last went to college, I took a poetry course and there was a poem in the text book, that I wish I could find again. In the poem there was a line that went something like "don't let people walk all over you and leave footprints on your forehead"... I had that book for a long long time, I might still have it packed away somewhere, hope I do.. It was a great poem... 

Anyways, I suppose that is enough "poor me" for now. I hope all is well with everyone else...